<?xml version="1.0" encoding="UTF-8"?><rss xmlns:dc="http://purl.org/dc/elements/1.1/" xmlns:content="http://purl.org/rss/1.0/modules/content/" xmlns:atom="http://www.w3.org/2005/Atom" version="2.0"><channel><title><![CDATA[Fabricated Players]]></title><description><![CDATA[Fabricated Players]]></description><link>https://www.lyttonplayers.com/blog</link><generator>RSS for Node</generator><lastBuildDate>Mon, 31 Aug 2026 07:53:39 GMT</lastBuildDate><atom:link href="https://www.lyttonplayers.com/blog-feed.xml" rel="self" type="application/rss+xml"/><item><title><![CDATA[Am-dram group declares production ‘Brechtian’ after nobody can be bothered to build a set]]></title><description><![CDATA[THE Fabricated Players have announced that their forthcoming production will employ a radical Brechtian aesthetic after nobody volunteered to spend six weekends building the set. Director Nicola unveiled the concept shortly after set manager Graham asked who was available on Sunday morning to construct a full Victorian drawing room and received no replies to his WhatsApp message. Nicola said: “We originally planned detailed period scenery with French windows, a fireplace and working doors....]]></description><link>https://www.lyttonplayers.com/post/am-dram-group-declares-production-brechtian-after-nobody-can-be-bothered-to-build-a-set</link><guid isPermaLink="false">6a94b17721ca4b8be96945c6</guid><pubDate>Sun, 30 Aug 2026 22:44:09 GMT</pubDate><enclosure url="https://static.wixstatic.com/media/1d9611_1b04506463ed4dfdb022a50c7a386631~mv2.jpg/v1/fit/w_1000,h_1000,al_c,q_80/file.png" length="0" type="image/png"/><dc:creator>Sebastian Silligoose</dc:creator></item><item><title><![CDATA[Blood Brothers lasts eight minutes after DNA test reveals twins immediately]]></title><description><![CDATA[THE Fabricated Players have been forced to dramatically shorten their modernised production of Blood Brothers after an Ancestry DNA test exposes its central secret before anyone has time to sing very much. Director Paula introduced consumer DNA testing to make Willy Russell’s musical more relevant to contemporary audiences. She said: “We asked what would genuinely happen if Mickey and Eddie were growing up today. “Unfortunately, the answer is that the entire plot would collapse.” The...]]></description><link>https://www.lyttonplayers.com/post/blood-brothers-lasts-eight-minutes-after-dna-test-reveals-twins-immediately</link><guid isPermaLink="false">6a94b09f6625a445492298f1</guid><pubDate>Sun, 30 Aug 2026 22:39:46 GMT</pubDate><enclosure url="https://static.wixstatic.com/media/1d9611_c3b8f619d2f04fda9e1418c375562246~mv2.jpg/v1/fit/w_1000,h_1000,al_c,q_80/file.png" length="0" type="image/png"/><dc:creator>Angus McSensible</dc:creator></item><item><title><![CDATA[Panto auditions introduce three-stage corporate interview process for Widow Twankey]]></title><description><![CDATA[THE Fabricated Players have introduced a rigorous three-stage recruitment process for the role of Widow Twankey after deciding that shouting “Hello boys and girls!” while wearing an enormous dress requires greater scrutiny. Candidates for the society’s forthcoming pantomime must now complete an initial audition, a competency-based interview and a ten-minute PowerPoint presentation explaining why they are the right person to run a fictional laundry. Director Angela said: “Widow Twankey is a...]]></description><link>https://www.lyttonplayers.com/post/panto-auditions-introduce-three-stage-corporate-interview-process-for-widow-twankey</link><guid isPermaLink="false">6a94af6a7ba802b41b9280c7</guid><pubDate>Sun, 30 Aug 2026 22:36:15 GMT</pubDate><enclosure url="https://static.wixstatic.com/media/1d9611_f63fbf11652e4077a30cd121efba7252~mv2.jpg/v1/fit/w_1000,h_1000,al_c,q_80/file.png" length="0" type="image/png"/><dc:creator>Sebastian Silligoose</dc:creator></item><item><title><![CDATA[Fabricated Players begin marketing shows to unborn audiences]]></title><description><![CDATA[THE Fabricated Players have launched an ambitious new marketing strategy targeting people who have not yet been born in an attempt to secure the future of amateur theatre. The scheme was introduced after the society’s publicity team concluded that repeatedly advertising productions to the same 400 local Facebook users was producing “diminishing returns”. Publicity officer Amanda said: “Everyone talks about attracting younger audiences. “We’ve decided to get ahead of the competition.” The...]]></description><link>https://www.lyttonplayers.com/post/fabricated-players-begin-marketing-shows-to-unborn-audiences</link><guid isPermaLink="false">6a94adda738fc05073c47f38</guid><pubDate>Sun, 30 Aug 2026 22:30:10 GMT</pubDate><enclosure url="https://static.wixstatic.com/media/1d9611_98abe141332b4002a5721a840992c29e~mv2.jpg/v1/fit/w_1000,h_1000,al_c,q_80/file.png" length="0" type="image/png"/><dc:creator>Sebastian Silligoose</dc:creator></item><item><title><![CDATA[Am-dram society introduces policy requiring complaints to be made before incident happens]]></title><description><![CDATA[THE Fabricated Players have introduced a streamlined complaints procedure requiring members to raise concerns before the thing they are complaining about has actually happened. The committee says the new Pre-Emptive Complaints Policy will allow problems to be dealt with quickly and efficiently by ensuring nobody can complain about anything retrospectively. Chairwoman Jackie said: “We kept receiving complaints after incidents had taken place. “By that point, obviously, it was too late.” Under...]]></description><link>https://www.lyttonplayers.com/post/am-dram-society-introduces-policy-requiring-complaints-to-be-made-before-incident-happens</link><guid isPermaLink="false">6a94ac1921ca4b8be96939dc</guid><pubDate>Sun, 30 Aug 2026 22:23:30 GMT</pubDate><enclosure url="https://static.wixstatic.com/media/1d9611_3934788b02964d1e908f34d91486fba4~mv2.jpg/v1/fit/w_1000,h_1000,al_c,q_80/file.png" length="0" type="image/png"/><dc:creator>Angus McSensible</dc:creator></item><item><title><![CDATA[Audiences fail to notice Hamlet is being played by a cabbage until final scene]]></title><description><![CDATA[AUDIENCES at the Fabricated Players’ latest production of Hamlet failed to realise the title role was being played by a cabbage until the final scene. The vegetable was drafted into the production just 48 hours before opening night after the original Hamlet withdrew following what director Margaret described as “creative differences, availability issues and an extremely long WhatsApp message”. With no understudy available, the society placed a cabbage in Hamlet’s costume and decided to...]]></description><link>https://www.lyttonplayers.com/post/audiences-fail-to-notice-hamlet-is-being-played-by-a-cabbage-until-final-scene</link><guid isPermaLink="false">6a94ab3e21ca4b8be969382f</guid><pubDate>Sun, 30 Aug 2026 22:16:54 GMT</pubDate><enclosure url="https://static.wixstatic.com/media/1d9611_a2d2ddaf80c3413081aff327c9100487~mv2.jpg/v1/fit/w_1000,h_1000,al_c,q_80/file.png" length="0" type="image/png"/><dc:creator>Sebastian Silligoose</dc:creator></item><item><title><![CDATA[Committee member forced to resign after members unfairly produce overwhelming evidence they broke the rules]]></title><description><![CDATA[A FABRICATED Players committee member has been forced to resign after members they were attempting to remove from the society unfairly discovered overwhelming evidence that they had broken the rules themselves. Social Secretary Judith stepped down on Tuesday after being confronted with emails, messages, meeting minutes and several documents containing what the committee has described as “an unnecessarily accurate account of events”. Judith said: “Obviously I accept that rules are rules. “I...]]></description><link>https://www.lyttonplayers.com/post/committee-member-forced-to-resign-after-members-unfairly-produce-overwhelming-evidence-they-broke-th</link><guid isPermaLink="false">6a8ff2128bec28748d3b71e1</guid><pubDate>Mon, 24 Aug 2026 23:00:00 GMT</pubDate><enclosure url="https://static.wixstatic.com/media/1d9611_0bfa692396cd419799337a9a2f1a5b0e~mv2.jpg/v1/fit/w_1000,h_1000,al_c,q_80/file.png" length="0" type="image/png"/><dc:creator>Sebastian Silligoose</dc:creator></item><item><title><![CDATA[Fabricated Players announce bold new production of Macbeth without Macbeth]]></title><description><![CDATA[THE Fabricated Players have announced a radical new interpretation of Macbeth in which Macbeth will not appear, after nobody suitable auditioned for the role. Director Susan insists the absence of Shakespeare’s central character is an intentional artistic decision designed to explore “the presence created by absence”. She said: “Macbeth dominates this play. “So I started asking myself: what happens if we remove Macbeth completely? “Admittedly, I started asking myself this about ten minutes...]]></description><link>https://www.lyttonplayers.com/post/fabricated-players-announce-bold-new-production-of-macbeth-without-macbeth</link><guid isPermaLink="false">6a8ff53b8bec28748d3b778c</guid><pubDate>Mon, 24 Aug 2026 23:00:00 GMT</pubDate><enclosure url="https://static.wixstatic.com/media/1d9611_653026bbafb94c38b03c59a1e7eee8fb~mv2.jpg/v1/fit/w_1000,h_1000,al_c,q_80/file.png" length="0" type="image/png"/><dc:creator>Sebastian Silligoose</dc:creator></item><item><title><![CDATA[Lady Macbeth casting decided by penalty shootout after auditions end in draw]]></title><description><![CDATA[THE Fabricated Players have selected their Lady Macbeth through a penalty shootout after two actors received identical scores during an increasingly competitive audition process. The society introduced penalties after both Helen and Caroline finished auditions with 87 points each across acting ability, vocal technique, characterisation, movement and “general Lady Macbethness”. Director Simon said: “We considered asking them to perform the speeches again. “But at some point you need a result.”...]]></description><link>https://www.lyttonplayers.com/post/lady-macbeth-casting-decided-by-penalty-shootout-after-auditions-end-in-draw</link><guid isPermaLink="false">6a8ff98fbbd513a813cbad2a</guid><pubDate>Mon, 24 Aug 2026 23:00:00 GMT</pubDate><enclosure url="https://static.wixstatic.com/media/1d9611_46ded6f17532437c8ac02df2d08eafa8~mv2.jpg/v1/fit/w_1000,h_1000,al_c,q_80/file.png" length="0" type="image/png"/><dc:creator>Angus McSensible</dc:creator></item><item><title><![CDATA[Am-dram society insists tickets are ‘selling fast’ after selling 11]]></title><description><![CDATA[THE Fabricated Players have launched an urgent marketing campaign warning audiences that tickets for their latest production are “SELLING FAST”, following the sale of 11 seats in just under three weeks. The society added the warning to all publicity materials on Tuesday after the box office confirmed that almost four per cent of available tickets had now been purchased. Publicity officer Donna said: “We don’t want people assuming they can leave it until the last minute. “At this rate, some...]]></description><link>https://www.lyttonplayers.com/post/am-dram-society-insists-tickets-are-selling-fast-after-selling-11</link><guid isPermaLink="false">6a8ff46db9a28249464443ac</guid><pubDate>Sat, 22 Aug 2026 23:00:00 GMT</pubDate><enclosure url="https://static.wixstatic.com/media/nsplsh_a57c6e24b1454c64bba69462243fd5f9~mv2.jpg/v1/fit/w_1000,h_1000,al_c,q_80/file.png" length="0" type="image/png"/><dc:creator>Angus McSensible</dc:creator></item><item><title><![CDATA[Committee misunderstands request to ‘trial new shows’ and introduces show trials instead]]></title><description><![CDATA[THE Fabricated Players committee has responded to members’ requests to trial some new shows by introducing a system of show trials for dealing with complaints. Members had originally suggested the society could experiment with less familiar productions before committing them to the main season. Chair Barbara said: “People kept saying they wanted us to trial new shows. “So we listened.” The misunderstanding became apparent when members arrived expecting a rehearsed reading of a contemporary...]]></description><link>https://www.lyttonplayers.com/post/committee-misunderstands-request-to-trial-new-shows-and-introduces-show-trials-instead</link><guid isPermaLink="false">6a8ffa7e8bec28748d3b83aa</guid><pubDate>Fri, 21 Aug 2026 23:00:00 GMT</pubDate><enclosure url="https://static.wixstatic.com/media/1d9611_31f4b34b28a64c1e91d3aa6db4e0210c~mv2.jpg/v1/fit/w_1000,h_1000,al_c,q_80/file.png" length="0" type="image/png"/><dc:creator>Sebastian Silligoose</dc:creator></item><item><title><![CDATA[Henry Higgins replaced by £6.99 voice-coaching app in modernised My Fair Lady]]></title><description><![CDATA[THE Fabricated Players have replaced Professor Henry Higgins with a £6.99-a-month voice-coaching app in their contemporary production of My Fair Lady. Director Sandra said the change was necessary because modern audiences would struggle to believe Eliza Doolittle needed to move into a strange man’s house for six months simply to change how she pronounced vowels. She said: “We looked at the original story and thought: surely there’s an app for this now. “There was.” In the new production,...]]></description><link>https://www.lyttonplayers.com/post/henry-higgins-replaced-by-6-99-voice-coaching-app-in-modernised-my-fair-lady</link><guid isPermaLink="false">6a8ff6f2190fae3a61b875f4</guid><pubDate>Sun, 16 Aug 2026 23:00:00 GMT</pubDate><enclosure url="https://static.wixstatic.com/media/1d9611_8e490c48aece4dfa9954b73875ee0529~mv2.jpg/v1/fit/w_1000,h_1000,al_c,q_80/file.png" length="0" type="image/png"/><dc:creator>Sebastian Silligoose</dc:creator></item><item><title><![CDATA[Cast stuck in freeze-frame for third consecutive day]]></title><description><![CDATA[THE cast of the Fabricated Players’ latest production remain trapped in a dramatic freeze-frame three days after the director forgot to tell them they could move again. The incident occurred during Sunday’s rehearsal when director Melissa asked the company to freeze at the climax of an ensemble sequence so she could examine the stage picture. She then went home. Cast member Derek has now been pointing accusingly at Leanne for approximately 72 hours. Stage manager Pauline said: “Melissa said,...]]></description><link>https://www.lyttonplayers.com/post/cast-stuck-in-freeze-frame-for-third-consecutive-day</link><guid isPermaLink="false">6a7f64b9a7a7d1a936d25de7</guid><pubDate>Fri, 14 Aug 2026 18:59:07 GMT</pubDate><enclosure url="https://static.wixstatic.com/media/1d9611_224a5b962d374c279e08beb517d0f3f2~mv2.jpg/v1/fit/w_1000,h_1000,al_c,q_80/file.png" length="0" type="image/png"/><dc:creator>Sebastian Silligoose</dc:creator></item><item><title><![CDATA[Am-dram wardrobe becomes sentient and immediately refuses to work with the society]]></title><description><![CDATA[THE Fabricated Players have confirmed that their costume wardrobe has become sentient after decades of accumulated theatrical energy, mothballs, and unresolved resentment. Members first noticed something was wrong on Tuesday when the wardrobe locked its own doors and refused to release any costumes for the forthcoming production. Wardrobe manager Joe said: “I thought the lock was stuck. “Then it told me to fuck off.” The wardrobe, which has been operating since approximately 1973, is believed...]]></description><link>https://www.lyttonplayers.com/post/am-dram-wardrobe-becomes-sentient-and-immediately-refuses-to-work-with-the-society</link><guid isPermaLink="false">6a7f6313a7a7d1a936d25a1e</guid><pubDate>Fri, 14 Aug 2026 18:54:47 GMT</pubDate><enclosure url="https://static.wixstatic.com/media/1d9611_0c9451a6de684ab9bbf96f8e33cd8128~mv2.jpg/v1/fit/w_1000,h_1000,al_c,q_80/file.png" length="0" type="image/png"/><dc:creator>Sebastian Silligoose</dc:creator></item><item><title><![CDATA[Society to hit 'Go Green' target by repainting Green Room to make it ‘more green’]]></title><description><![CDATA[THE Fabricated Players have unveiled the centrepiece of their new environmental strategy after spending £1,800 repainting the Green Room a significantly greener shade of green. The project forms part of the society’s ambitious commitment to become “the greenest amateur theatre in the county” by 2030, a phrase the committee has interpreted almost entirely literally. Environmental officer Barbara said: “The Green Room was technically green before, but if we’re being completely honest, it was...]]></description><link>https://www.lyttonplayers.com/post/society-to-hit-go-green-target-by-repainting-green-room-to-make-it-more-green</link><guid isPermaLink="false">6a7f61cd40f3daf10ba02e35</guid><pubDate>Fri, 14 Aug 2026 18:46:27 GMT</pubDate><enclosure url="https://static.wixstatic.com/media/1d9611_ca900178263d4f9590b3671e5669d785~mv2.jpg/v1/fit/w_1000,h_1000,al_c,q_80/file.png" length="0" type="image/png"/><dc:creator>Angus McSensible</dc:creator></item><item><title><![CDATA[Am-dram society bans members from thinking critical thoughts about committee]]></title><description><![CDATA[THE Fabricated Players have introduced a new conduct policy forbidding members from thinking anything negative about the committee, including privately and while asleep. The updated rules were approved unanimously after committee members concluded that existing restrictions on criticism did not go far enough because members could technically continue disagreeing with them inside their own heads. Chair Darren said: “We’ve worked very hard to create a positive culture. “Unfortunately, some...]]></description><link>https://www.lyttonplayers.com/post/am-dram-society-bans-members-from-thinking-critical-thoughts-about-committee</link><guid isPermaLink="false">6a7f0bf0bf3185c28f9706f2</guid><pubDate>Fri, 14 Aug 2026 12:41:01 GMT</pubDate><enclosure url="https://static.wixstatic.com/media/1d9611_304e67c662a74a6491289e51075b1602~mv2.jpg/v1/fit/w_1000,h_1000,al_c,q_80/file.png" length="0" type="image/png"/><dc:creator>Angus McSensible</dc:creator></item><item><title><![CDATA[Production of The Crucible descends into literal witch hunt]]></title><description><![CDATA[A PRODUCTION of The Crucible by the Fabricated Players has descended into an actual witch hunt after cast members became slightly too immersed in the material. Problems began during rehearsals when director Denise encouraged the company to research the Salem witch trials and “really inhabit the atmosphere of suspicion and paranoia”. Within three days, 14 members had been accused of witchcraft. Denise said: “I wanted them to understand what happens when fear overwhelms reason and a community...]]></description><link>https://www.lyttonplayers.com/post/production-of-the-crucible-descends-into-literal-witch-hunt</link><guid isPermaLink="false">6a7edff1e4b8c0e36f1e56a0</guid><pubDate>Fri, 14 Aug 2026 09:33:55 GMT</pubDate><enclosure url="https://static.wixstatic.com/media/1d9611_ddbfbcb2910042a4b3d971202cdad674~mv2.jpg/v1/fit/w_1000,h_1000,al_c,q_80/file.png" length="0" type="image/png"/><dc:creator>Angus McSensible</dc:creator></item><item><title><![CDATA[Fabricated Players promise unprecedented realism by casting actual lions in The Lion King]]></title><description><![CDATA[THE Fabricated Players have announced an ambitious production of The Lion King featuring actual lions after deciding costumes would “look a bit amateur”. The society says the decision to cast six fully grown African lions will bring an unprecedented level of realism to the local stage, while also reducing the costume budget by almost £400. Director Colin Clarke said: “We watched the West End production and the puppetry is obviously incredible. “But ultimately you’re still looking at a person...]]></description><link>https://www.lyttonplayers.com/post/fabricated-players-promise-unprecedented-realism-by-casting-actual-lions-in-the-lion-king</link><guid isPermaLink="false">6a7ec307cae5bb2ffa11d3d5</guid><pubDate>Fri, 14 Aug 2026 07:30:12 GMT</pubDate><enclosure url="https://static.wixstatic.com/media/1d9611_a5aa1e1771ea4b80aeb6c59be5ed0d45~mv2.jpg/v1/fit/w_1000,h_1000,al_c,q_80/file.png" length="0" type="image/png"/><dc:creator>Sebastian Silligoose</dc:creator></item><item><title><![CDATA[Am-dram society confirms talking about bad behaviour is now worse than the behaviour itself]]></title><description><![CDATA[THE Fabricated Players have clarified that discussing something appalling a member has done is considerably worse than the original appalling thing. The ruling follows an incident in which member Lauren told several people that another member, Colin, had behaved disgracefully at a society event. Committee members immediately condemned Lauren for “creating negativity”, while agreeing that what Colin actually did was “obviously not ideal”. Chairwoman Patricia said: “Nobody is defending Colin....]]></description><link>https://www.lyttonplayers.com/post/am-dram-society-confirms-talking-about-bad-behaviour-is-now-worse-than-the-behaviour-itself</link><guid isPermaLink="false">6a7e0bd59eafd9eb8e5a4dfd</guid><pubDate>Thu, 13 Aug 2026 18:28:55 GMT</pubDate><enclosure url="https://static.wixstatic.com/media/nsplsh_e201caa9a89f49a3aa768e3b8ce15c88~mv2.jpg/v1/fit/w_1000,h_1000,al_c,q_80/file.png" length="0" type="image/png"/><dc:creator>Angus McSensible</dc:creator></item><item><title><![CDATA[Am-dram society orders enormous rug to sweep all its problems under]]></title><description><![CDATA[THE Fabricated Players have taken decisive action over years of unresolved problems by ordering an enormous rug to sweep them all under. The bespoke 14-metre carpet was approved unanimously by the committee after members complained that existing rugs were no longer large enough to conceal the society’s growing collection of disputes, complaints and things everybody knows about but has agreed not to mention. Chairwoman Patricia said: “We take problems extremely seriously. “That’s why we needed...]]></description><link>https://www.lyttonplayers.com/post/am-dram-society-orders-enormous-rug-to-sweep-all-its-problems-under</link><guid isPermaLink="false">6a7e0b051edc2c80bd34c046</guid><pubDate>Thu, 13 Aug 2026 18:23:38 GMT</pubDate><enclosure url="https://static.wixstatic.com/media/1d9611_f9cd69ab47044f8abe87b2476968d408~mv2.jpg/v1/fit/w_1000,h_1000,al_c,q_80/file.png" length="0" type="image/png"/><dc:creator>Sebastian Silligoose</dc:creator></item></channel></rss>