Fabricated Players announce annual Oliver Awards celebrating another year of amateur dramatics excellence

THE Fabricated Players have confirmed they will once again host the prestigious Oliver Awards, amateur dramatics’ premier celebration of people who were available on the night.

The awards are named after former treasurer Oliver Lawrence, who served the society with distinction until somebody finally looked at the accounts.

Organisers say this year’s ceremony will recognise excellence both on stage and in the considerably more dramatic activity occurring behind it.

A spokesperson said: “The Olivers are our opportunity to celebrate the very best the society has to offer, as well as several people we had completely forgotten were members.

“Winning an Oliver can transform a career. Admittedly only from ‘person who sometimes does props’ to ‘person who now mentions their award whenever they do props’, but that is still a transformation.”

This year’s categories include:

• The Used To Be Good Award - for the performer whose continued casting is based primarily on something impressive they did in 2017.

• The We Didn’t Notice You Left The Society Award - presented to a former member whose dramatic departure was unfortunately discovered six months later.

• Nepo-Baby of the Year - for outstanding achievement in having a parent on the committee.

• Best Prompt - recognising the person who successfully whispered an actor’s entire speech to them from three feet away.

• Best Supporting Actor Who Thought They Were The Lead - awarded for exceptional commitment to making every scene somehow about themselves.

• Most Courageous Accent - celebrating a performance in which geographical consistency was bravely abandoned.

• Best Performance in a Committee Meeting - for convincing everyone that “I genuinely don’t mind either way” shortly before sending a 900-word WhatsApp message.

• Outstanding Contribution to Saying They Can’t Do Sundays - sponsored by the rehearsal schedule.

• Best Set - awarded jointly to four people who built it and one person who arrived at the end and said, “That looks great.”

• The Laurence Olivier Award - presented to whichever member spends the entire evening patiently explaining that these are not those Olivier Awards.
  

The ceremony will be held in the society clubhouse, which organisers have promised will be transformed into “a glittering West End venue” by turning the big lights off and putting some fairy lights near the bar.

Formal dress is encouraged, although previous interpretations of this have ranged from black tie to “the waistcoat I wore in Guy and Dolls”.

Oliver Lawrence is expected to attend, subject to assurances that nobody intends to ask him what happened to the £43.17 from the 2019 raffle.

Voting will be conducted by society members, making the results entirely democratic, transparent and already decided.