Fabricated Players organise members’ time-travel trip to Ancient Rome for Julius Caesar research

THE Fabricated Players have announced an educational members’ trip to Ancient Rome to help the cast prepare for their forthcoming production of Julius Caesar.

The society says the weekend excursion to 44 BC will give members an invaluable opportunity to experience Roman life first-hand, research the play and potentially warn Caesar about the whole stabbing thing if there is time.

Director Margaret said: “You can read books, watch documentaries and look things up online, but nothing compares with actually being there.

“We want our actors to smell Rome, hear Rome and experience the authentic terror of realising nobody has invented antibiotics yet.”

The trip will depart from the clubhouse at 7am on Saturday using a time machine Brian says he has “access to through work”.

Members have been asked to arrive by 6.45am because the machine will leave promptly and will not return to 2026 for anyone who oversleeps.

Mary said: “Last time we went to Stratford we waited 25 minutes for Malcolm.

“We’re not doing that when the destination is literally the past.”

The itinerary includes a guided tour of the Roman Forum, lunch near the Temple of Vesta and an afternoon watching actual Roman senators to help the cast develop authentic movement and characterisation.

Members will then attend the Senate on 15 March to observe Julius Caesar’s assassination.

Margaret said: “Obviously that will be enormously useful for the murder scene.

“We’ve told everyone to take notes but not interfere.”

Brian has nevertheless printed 40 badges saying BEWARE THE IDES OF MARCH, which the committee has ordered him not to distribute until after Caesar is dead in case it affects the timeline.

The society has issued strict rules regarding contact with ancient Romans.

Members must not reveal future events, introduce modern technology or attempt to persuade Shakespeare’s historical characters to make different decisions.

Malcolm has specifically been told he cannot bring his phone.

He said: “I only wanted a picture with Caesar.”

Margaret replied: “You posted 86 photographs from York. We are not having your Facebook album accidentally prevent the Roman Empire.”

Costumes will be provided to help members blend in, although early fittings suggest the group will resemble “a coach party wearing bedsheets”.

Mary has complained that her sandals are uncomfortable.

Brian has reminded her that she only has to wear them for two days, whereas the Romans have another 400 years.

The trip costs £35 per member, including temporal transport and a packed lunch.

Travel insurance is not included after the society’s usual provider confirmed its policy does not cover incidents occurring before the birth of Christ.

Members have also been warned that mobile phones, bank cards and Tesco Clubcards will not function in Ancient Rome.

The bar committee has therefore purchased several bags of Roman coins from eBay.

Margaret said: “Brian assures me they’re authentic.

“One of them says Made in China, but apparently trade routes were surprisingly advanced.”

The group will return on Sunday evening at approximately 7pm, assuming the timeline remains intact.

If members arrive back to discover the Fabricated Players never existed, they have been instructed to travel back again and find out what Malcolm did.