Fabricated Players partner with local fishmonger to revolutionise theatre snacks

THE Fabricated Players have announced an exciting partnership with a local fishmonger to offer audiences a wider range of theatre snacks than crisps, Minstrels and a Cornetto somebody found underneath the other Cornettos.

From next month, the society bar will serve a selection of fresh seafood supplied by local fishmonger Brian’s Plaice, all given theatrical names to make eating shellfish during a play seem somehow appropriate.

Chairwoman Margaret said: “The modern theatre audience expects choice.

“You can’t just offer people a packet of ready salted anymore. Sometimes they want to sit through The Crucible with a whole smoked mackerel.”

The new menu includes The Codfather, a battered cod fillet served in a souvenir programme, and Much Ado About Herring, described as “a generous portion of pickled fish with unnecessary complications”.

Shakespeare fans can also enjoy The Taming of the Shrewmp, A Midsummer Night’s Bream and Romeo and Julienne of Sole.

Mary said: “I’m particularly proud of The Merchant of Venice Scallops.

“We haven’t actually worked out what it is yet, but the name was too good not to use.”

Musical theatre is equally well represented.

Customers can order Les Moulesérables, The Phantom of the O-Prawn, Joseph and the Amazing Technicolour Breamcoat or a family-sized bucket of shellfish called Seven Brides for Seven Lobsters.

For more adventurous patrons there is Sweeney Cod: The Demon Barber of Fleet Fish, served with a small meat pie which staff strongly recommend you do not ask about.

The partnership has required some changes to front-of-house procedures.

Ice cream sellers will now carry trays containing choc ices, tubs of vanilla and several unrefrigerated prawns.

Audience members ordering oysters have been asked to consume them before the second bell rather than attempting to shuck them during a monologue.

Brian, who runs the fishmonger, said: “Theatre and seafood are natural partners.

“Both are traditionally associated with dressing up, opening nights and wondering afterwards whether something you experienced was supposed to smell like that.”

Not everyone has welcomed the initiative.

During a trial performance last week, several complaints were received after Malcolm spent the entirety of Act Two cracking crab claws during The Woman in Black.

One audience member said the constant snapping “completely destroyed the atmosphere”, although the director has subsequently added it to the sound design.

The society has also introduced strict rules banning particularly disruptive snacks.

Whole lobsters may only be eaten during the interval, mussels must be opened quietly, and anyone bringing a dressed crab into the front row will be moved to the aisle.

Margaret said: “We’re trying to be considerate.

“This is still a theatre.”