Society to hit 'Go Green' target by repainting Green Room to make it ‘more green’

THE Fabricated Players have unveiled the centrepiece of their new environmental strategy after spending £1,800 repainting the Green Room a significantly greener shade of green.

The project forms part of the society’s ambitious commitment to become “the greenest amateur theatre in the county” by 2030, a phrase the committee has interpreted almost entirely literally.

Environmental officer Barbara said: “The Green Room was technically green before, but if we’re being completely honest, it was more of a sage.

“You cannot claim to care about the planet with that sort of ambiguity.”

The room has now been repainted in Amazon Rainforest Green, including the walls, ceiling, skirting boards, radiators and, following an error by Brian, most of the light switches.

Barbara said: “When you walk in, you immediately think: environment.

“Then you think: fucking hell, that’s green.”

The society used 47 litres of paint, six plastic dust sheets, 18 disposable rollers and a diesel van to make four journeys to B&Q.

Treasurer Derek estimates the initiative has so far produced approximately 300kg of carbon emissions.

He said: “Obviously that’s disappointing.

“But visually, we are considerably more sustainable.”

The environmental campaign will now be extended throughout the theatre.

All dressing rooms will contain more plants, although the committee has decided plastic ones will be easier to maintain.

The bar will switch to green drinking straws.

Green M&Ms will replace regular M&Ms.

And the society’s electricity bills will now be printed on green paper.

Barbara said: “Sustainability is about lots of small changes.

“Preferably ones that don’t require us to change anything important.”

The technical team had suggested replacing several old stage lights with more energy-efficient LEDs, but the proposal was rejected as too expensive.

Instead, existing lights will have green gels placed over them.

Brian said: “That isn’t how energy efficiency works.”

He has been removed from the Environmental Working Group for negativity.

Members have broadly welcomed the newly decorated Green Room, although several reported headaches after spending more than 20 minutes inside it.

Actor Christine said: “It’s certainly greener.

“I dropped my green cardigan yesterday and we haven’t found it since.”

The committee believes the initiative puts the Fabricated Players at the forefront of sustainable theatre.

Its next project will tackle climate change directly by turning the heating down.

Treasurer Derek confirmed this measure will begin immediately and continue indefinitely.

He said: “That one actually saves us money.”